February 2012
Technically day 3.
3:33am. I’m tired but not sleepy. Eyes heavy but won’t stay down. Lost my cool earlier today but hopefully that’s the worst of it. I’ve gotten sidenotes from a few people saying that my tumblrs getting depressing. Lol. I apologize for that, but it’s my only outlet. Can’t burn myself in front of my fams on fb more than I already have. I...
I can’t do this anymore. I don’t wanna open up. It’s so much easier to keep everyone at a distance. I’m sure when you part from arm’s length you don’t hurt like I do right now. …shit. I have no idea what to do. And what sucks is knowing you’re the only one going through it. Heartbroken. Really tho.
Day 2 1/2.
It’s taking all of me not to call you. Please let the days get better.
Day 2.
Poolside with a pineapple vodka in my hand. Drive the drive then do all my late graphic design shit. Chillin with the bruh for din. The day still runs a little slowly but I’ll take a busy sched over an empty one right now.
Day 1 1/2.
It feels weird not speaking to you everyday. I’m assuming it’ll get easier as the days go, but it doesn’t feel good at all. I successfully filled my week up. Let’s see how that goes.
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On repeat.
Day 1.
25 minutes late for work. 3 hours of sleep. empty stomach, which i am now filling with gatorade. all this anxiety, got my legs feeling like jello. i really don’t wanna be doing this morning shift, but hey what can i do. i’m currently just trying to fill my week up, so thinking and analyzing can come second.
I told myself I wouldnt go back to tumblr tonight. It just hurts so much. And as much as you might think I’m running at the chance to go back to my old ways. I’m not. I meant when I said I wanted to dedicate it all to you. I meant when I said you were the only one I wanted to be with from here on out. But it all just hurt so much. Feeling like I had to contain all the emotions I kept...
Lol. I’m fucked.
How am I going to survive this.
i don’t know why i haven’t noticed before, how much of a vacuum relationships are. when they’re gone it sucks the soul out of your heart and leaves you with shitty music videos and ryan tedder throwback tracks. i’d cry but i don’t think i have any left. breathe in.
You took it with you. I thought you closing the door was a metaphor for you closing the door on this relationship. If you can’t handle me the way I am then why should we still be here killing time. I was sad cos I told you I was going to miss you. If that’s reason for you to walk away from my car then hey. That sounds like a definite cue.
Slam the door while I’m crying. Oh. Was that my cue?
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